Reminder
by Gwynwidlen
Summary: Sam learns something about his father that..he didn't really want to know. Holding on to a mentally destroyed Dean is hard enough, but will the news break him too? M for language, abuse of a minor, incest. Please review.
1. Chapter 1: In the Beginning

**Reminder**

**by Gwynwidlen**

**Summary: Sam learns something about his father that..he didn't really want to know. Holding on to a mentally destroyed Dean is hard enough, but will the new break him too? M.**

**Rated: M for language, abuse of a minor. Incest. **

**A/N: I want to see how disturbing I can make things but have it still be compelling. Don't like, Don't read. But you CAN FOLLOW, because it will be a chapter fic. I am thinking at least 3.**

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Dean Winchester was fifteen years old the first time his dad raped him. After a week-long hunt of a vampire in Santa Clara, California, John decided they needed a break. And by "they" he meant himself. And by "break" he meant going out drinking. He dropped the boys off at a cheap motel, telling Dean the usual "shoot first, ask later" spiel and to watch out for Sammy. He ruffled his sons' heads and into the night he went.

It was early in the morning when John returned home. Sammy was passed out in the bed, while Dean was napping lightly on the couch. He tried waiting up for his Dad, but he just couldn't. He ended up falling asleep, but he was woken by the sound of John stepping through the front door. John took off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket, placing it on the edge of the couch.

"Why aren't you in bed?" John demanded, pushing Dean's legs off the couch so he could sit. Dean scrambled out of his dad's way.

"I was waiting for you." Dean replied quietly.

"C'mere." John slurred, he was clearly intoxicated. Dean hated when his father drank heavily. The fifteen year old, slid over to John who put his arm around him. With his other hand he traced Dean's jaw, his thumb rested against his son's lips. "You're really pretty Dean. You look just like your mom. Just like Mary."

Dean hated when his father talked like this, but he knew better than to move or say anything. John leaned in and planted a kiss on the boy's full, pink lips.

"Dad." Dean pulled away. He spoke a little too loud. John grabbed his arm.

"Shh, don't wake your brother." John said. After a minute, to make sure that Sammy was still asleep (which was confirmed by quiet snores resonating from the bed across the room) John laid Dean out on the couch.

"What are you doing?" Dean hissed, trying to push his father off him. John smacked his son across his left cheek, leaving it stinging. He tried to protest again, only to be hit again. He learned to stay quiet as his dad stripped him down. John spit on his fingers, and Dean started to cry, knowing what was going to happen.

"Stop crying!" John ordered, spreading his boy's legs. Dean tried to stay quiet as his dad slid a thick finger into him. He almost cried out at the burning sensation.

"Dad, it hurts!" he whispered.

"Shut up."

"But- Dad-"

"Boy, I'm warning you." John added another finger starting to slowly move them in and out of his son. Deeming him prepared enough, John stood and unbuckled his belt, letting his jeans fall to the floor. Dean had his eyes squeezed shut, so he didn't see when his dad stepped in front of him. John pushed his cock into Dean's lips.

"Suck it Dean." John ordered. Dean opened his mouth, allowing John's cock to slide into his mouth. He gagged when John put a hand behind his head and started to thrust into his mouth. John let out a low growl of satisfaction. "This is the only lube you are getting so be good about it boy."

Dean spit all over John's cock as he pulled it out of his mouth. He positioned himself between Dean's legs, his cock pointed at Dean's entrance. He slowly pushed in; Dean cried out. John slapped him.

"Shut up." John groaned. He didn't wait for Dean to get used to his length, and started to thrust into his son. He silenced Dean's whimpers with a kiss.

After a few minutes of fucking his boy, John came, "Mary.." he moaned quietly, his eyes closed as his seed poured into Dean. He pulled out of his son who instantly curled up into a tight ball. John slapped his ass.

"Get cleaned up and go to bed. And don't you dare tell Sammy."

Dean did what he was told, climbing into bed with his brother, who rolled over and clasped a fist on his shirt. Dean cried silently, kissing his little brother's head. Sam sighed contently. He hoped that Sammy would never have to go through what he just did.

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**First Chapter complete.**

**Tell me what you think. Up next: Years later, Dean has a nightmare about what John used to do to him and Sam's there to comfort him.**


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmares

**Chapter 2: Nightmares**

**by Gwynwidlen**

**A/N: Second chapter of _Reminder. _Dean asks Sam a favor.**

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Dean was laying flat on his back, completely paralyzed while his dad hovered above him, thrusting into him greedily. Dean couldn't move. He couldn't scream. He remained frozen and terrified. Dean wanted it to be over.

When he woke up, he was on his back, still kind of paralyzed, but looking around, he realized his dad wasn't there. He wasn't even alive. Dean was covered in a cold sweat, but it didn't encourage him to move.

"Sammy." he whispered quietly. His brother was asleep next to him, because this wasn't the first nightmare he has had this week. He never tells Sam exactly what it was about. Every time Sam asks, he just says, "It was about dad."

Sam never prys. He is always happy to sleep next to Dean when he needs him. Sam didn't think it was weird when his brother wrapped his arms around him, cuddling into him for dear life. He was just happy to help Dean.

"Hey..have another nightmare?" Sam asked. Dean rolled his body to face Sam.

"Yeah." he replied. Sam put a hand on Dean's cheek, the same one that John slapped the first time all those years ago.

"I am sorry."

"Hey Sammy...can I ask you a favor?" Dean asked quietly. He had been thinking about it for awhile, but could never work up the courage to ask him.

"Sure, anything."

"I..uh.. well. I've been thinking- just hear me out, please.. I want..I want you to...to-" Dean stopped, looking away from Sam's eyes.

"To what Dean?" Sam asked a look of concern on his face. Dean looked up.

"To fuck me Sam. I want you to fuck me." Dean said quietly. He closed his eyes, waiting to be punched. Instead, Sam's hand found Dean's and they entangled their fingers.

"Sure." Sam said. Dean's eyes snapped open.

"What? Really?"

"Sure.. I mean it's what you want. I'll do anything for you." Sam said. Dean wanted to cry, looking into Sam's earnest and beautiful eyes. "Do you want to do it now?" Sam asked seductively. He untangled his hand from Dean's, running it down his brother's side and resting it on his butt.

"S-Sure.." Dean said. Sam leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips, immediately moving down his neck. Dean was surprised at how Sam was treating him. He was stunned how Sam pulled their bodies together, how he kissed him with passion, how he acted like he needed Dean. He liked the way Sam kissed him like they weren't brothers.

Sam pressed Dean into the bed, inching his shirt up and pulling it off him. Sam kissed his navel, scooting closer to his brother's crotch.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"I was gonna suck you off."

"Don't! I'll suck you." Dean said. John never pleasured Dean like that and he wanted it to be the same way with Sam.

"OK, your call." Sam said. He still pulled Dean's boxers off him. Dean got on his hands and knees, pulling his boxers down. Dean turned red, looking at Sam's erection.

"Jeez, Sammy you are so big." Dean said, licking the head of his brother's cock.

"Do you like that?" Sam asked. Not in a sexual way but more in a "I could split you in two" way.

"Yeah." Dean took Sam all the way in his mouth. He gagged a bit, not used to it. The only cock he was allowed to suck was his dad's. He never slept with any other man.

"Are you OK? Don't hurt yourself." Sam said. Dean ignored him. Sam moaned, putting his hand in Dean's hair. He pulled Dean off his dick, much to Dean's disappointment.

"You can cum in my mouth, I don't care." Dean said, green, sparkling eyes looking pleadingly up at his brother.

"No, get on your back. Where's your lube?" Sam asked.

"No. I just want you."

"Fine. Condom?"

"No." John never used either with him.

"Alright," Sam said positioning himself between Dean's legs. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, fuck me Sammy." Dean bit his lip as Sam slid into him. Dean groaned. "Fuck."

"God, you're tight." Sam said. "Is this OK?"

"Just fuck me!" Dean ordered.

Sam was a little unnerved to find that Dean didn't really react much to him.

"Is that good? Harder?"

"Harder. Please. Sammy.."

"Make some noise, dammit." Sam said getting frustrated. Dean winced, expecting to be hit. This did not go unnoticed by the younger Winchester. Dean moaned quietly.

"Fuck me. Fuck." Dean screamed. Sam pounded into Dean harder and faster, making him scream louder. "Daddy! Fuck! Oohh Daddy!"

Dean's eyes were closed, he didn't see the look of horror that passed across Sam's face. Dean didn't realize it was Sam fucking him, not John.

"Daddy." he squealed.

"Dean." Sam replied, putting his hand on Dean's face, leaning in close to his brother's face.

"Let me cum, please."

Sam was further confused, and disturbed.

"Cum for me Dean. You can cum." Sam said softly, kissing Dean's jaw.

"Harder! Daddy...ah..ohh god, I am gonna cum!" Dean screamed and bucked his hips, his cum landing on Sam's chest. Sam pulled out after he came, some of it leaking out of Dean's ass.

"Dean." Sam collapsed next to his brother. Dean started to cry, and shake. He pushed away any attempt at physical contact.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Sammy.."

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**Second Chapter complete!**

**Up next: Sam questions Dean about their dad.**


	3. Chapter 3: Reminiscient

**Chapter 3: Reminiscient**

**by Gwynwidlen**

**A/N: Third chapter of _Reminder. _Sam questions Dean about their dad.  
**

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"Dad used to _what_?" Sam asked. Dean shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about it Sammy." he said.

"Hey, hey, come here," Sam said wrapping his arms protectively around his brother. " You don't have to tell me right now.. just one thing. When did it start?"

"He...when I was fifteen. Remember after the vamp in Santa Clara? He dropped us off to go and get drunk? He came home and..he..I was scared Sammy." Dean buried his face in Sam's chest. The younger Winchester rubbed his brother's back.

"Did it ever happen after that?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer. Dean nodded.

"When Dad would keep me home every now and then saying I was sick, I was never sick Sam.. he just wanted to be alone with me." Dean said.

"What about when I was around? Did he ever do it then?"

"When you fell asleep in the Impala, he'd make me...suck him off." Dean replied.

"Why didn't you leave Dean?" Sam asked stroking Dean's hair.

"I was afraid for you Sam.. and when you left I was really happy, cause that way he'd never hurt you." Dean said, looking into Sam's eyes.

"He hurt you the night I left, didn't he?" He already knew the answer.

"Yeah. He literally beat my ass."

Sam just hugged Dean tightly, letting his brother cry into his shoulder. If John weren't already dead, he'd kill him. Sam couldn't believe his brother went through this. He was always so strong, and so fun and carefree. A ladies' man for sure. No one would ever suspect he suffered such abuse.

"You never told anyone?"

"Only you."

"What about Bobby?"

"I almost told him...once.. but dad showed up and I didn't get a chance."

"I am so sorry Dean." Sam said. He hated seeing his brother so broken. He felt even worse for sleeping with him. Sam realized that Dean wasn't thinking about him when they did it, but their father. And that made him sick.

"Never leave me Sammy, please." Dean said.

"Of course," Sam replied kissing Dean's head. "Dean.."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you want me to sleep with you... I mean, it was just reliving your abuse, wasn't it?" Sam asked carefully. Dean stared at him.

"Because Sammy," Dean sighed. "It was the only time dad ever loved me. It was the only time...he didn't think I was a fuck up. Those days he'd keep me home, were usually the only times he would be gentle with me. They were the only times he'd tell me he loved me. The only times he'd make me feel good. All the other times he just...hurt me. And he didn't care. He just took what he wanted and it didn't matter what it did to me."

Sam wanted to cry.

"Dean, I love you. I can't reverse what dad did. But I can help you." Sam said.

"I love you too Sammy." Dean said leaning in to plant a kiss on Sam's lips, which Sam quickly rejected. "Sam.."

"No. You can have anyone you want. But not me. You'll find someone that loves you Dean, and you won't need to feel degraded to feel loved." Dean started to pout.

"I want you Sam."

"No."

Dean sighed. "Alright.. fine. I still love you."

"I love you too Dean. Come on, let's go get cleaned up." Sam said, smacking Dean's butt lightly.

As they walked to the bathroom, Dean said

"Do you think I could have Cas?"

"I don't know, you should ask him."

"An angel for a boyfriend would be great." Dean said. Sam only laughed, shutting the bathroom door.

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**Fin.**

**It ended weird cause I forgot what I was going to put for the last lines. Anyway, Please review.**


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